Swan song

Well my adventure into blogdom has come to a close, just like my cycling column back in the 70's. I have exhausted all my material or hit a terminal block. Either way this is my swan song. Is it true that swans sing before they die? I had great aspirations as to my blog "improving the universe" bring order out of chaos, and stuff like that.

Take care

Live Happy

Jack

What makes you happy?

Please give up a few minutes of your time and send it to me, What, in this world makes you smile, laugh, chortle, guffaw, giggle or grin, 

What gives you a warm feeling, brings a tear of happiness to your eye or makes you just feel good! 

Three Indian Squaws were getting married on the same day.
Each of their prospective husbands have to get a new animal
hide for the marriage bed. The squaw chooses which animal
she wants.
The first squaw wanted a buffalo hide, the bridegroom went off, killed
a buffalo and brought back the hide. The second squaw wanted a bear
hid, off goes the bridegroom , kills the bear, brings back the hide.
however, the third Squaw has done a bit of reading and wants a
Hippopotamus hide. Poor bridegroom, however, off he goes to Africa
and finds a hippopotamus, kills it and takes the hide back. All
three couples get married.
Nature has taken its course and after 9 months the three squaws give
birth to their first children. However, the squaw with the
hippopotamus hide has twins - which only goes to prove the theory that
The Squaw on the hippopotamus is equal to the sum of the squaws on
the other two hides.

My day, no week! in court

To whom it may concern

Life and Law have become much too complicated. I’m sure it is because laws are written by lawyers and legislated by lawyers, and I’m not sure if it is to guarantee that only lawyers will be able to interpret and understand or that it’s just another coat of paint applied without cleaning the surface. until the buildup becomes ridiculous. Having just completed a week of jury duty I came away with a head full of ambiguities and confusion between “battery” <> and “Assault” also When actual damage or wounding is done there is a need for a graduated table of degrees. Depth of trauma, area of bruising, and a table of treatment or assessing damage. Ie. "the nurse looked at it." the "Medic put a bandaid on it" the "Doctor treated it"  

First swim of 2008

We are enjoying a down slope compression wind temperature in the 80's and the pool is up to 76 degrees. It really invigorates. 

If I seem to be over enthusiastic about water, it is due to my youth in the Mojave desert. Anything that had over 50% H2O  we swam in. I guess the worst was the wet tailing's of the borax mine. This was a grey-green mud that came from the mill. the surface was deceptively dry looking  but if you stepped on it you sank!, then you could sort of crawl swim in it. It was cooler than the air. After "swimming" we would play in the dry tailing's (same grey-green colored pebbles) then we would admire our "lizard skin". We then had to don our Levis over the Faux skin and pull every hair on our body. The company showers were blessedly near so we could clean up. We also swam at the Western mines which was flooded and the water was pumped into a 15x15x very deep pool, we would remove any dead animals and jump in the super saturated solution. Cool and deep. When you climbed out your skin turned white with borax crystals. The mines were dug in many levels. then they would scrape with a drag line huge "stoaps" several stories deep. when they had been emptied a hole was drilled down from the surface and the earth packed to hold up the mine. They still had many cave ins. Anyway on the surface they had large metal tanks full of water, and if you didn't mind the algae great to swim in. Our constant search for water, prompted opening a fire hydrant and aiming it down and scooping out the mud. We could make a pleasant wading pool. My best friend Freddy's Dad was the mine Superintendent so he finally dug a pool next to his house, two doors away from my house so I finally had access to water! When I bought my currant home one prerequisite was a big enough yard for a pool! that was about 40 years ago, and I'm still swimming in it.

3rd day of Jury duty

Can't write about it yet!

---30---

Jury finally set

Court today

---30---

Old really can!

There were these two elderly people living in a Florida
mobile home park. He was a widower and she a widow. They
had known one another for a number of years.

One evening there was a community supper in the big
activity center. These two were at the same table, across
from one another. As the meal went on, he made a few
admiring glances at her and finally gathered up his
courage to ask her, "Will you marry me?"

After a dramatic pause and precisely six seconds of
'careful consideration,' she answered. "Yes. Yes, I will."
The meal ended with a few more pleasant exchanges and
they went to their respective places.

Next morning, he was troubled. "Did she say 'yes' or did
she say 'no'?" He couldn't remember. Try as he would, he
just could not recall. Not even a faint memory. With
trepidation, he went to the telephone and called her.
First, he explained to her that he didn't remember as
well as he used to. Then he reviewed the lovely evening
past. As he gained a little more courage, he then inquired
of her, "When I asked if you would marry me, did you say
'Yes' or did you say 'No'?"

He was delighted to hear her say, "Why, I said, 'Yes,
yes I will' and I meant it with all my heart." Then she
continued, "And I am so glad that you called, because I
couldn't remember who had asked me."

------

Jury duty went well haven't fallen asleep or been kicked off!

---30---

Jesus Saves...But I don't

I'm really pissed off!  Like the pubic hair on the toilet seat.  I had an excellent blog written and illustrated. I left it sitting, thinking I would come back from the dog park, proofread and send it on. There is a box on the bottom in blue that says SAVE NOW then a light face that says Draft autosaved at 10:39 PM but I was too chicken to press it because it gave me a message "Do you really want to do this"? now I'm immediately shivering in self doubt. I have had a mess of beautiful prose lost forever into the depth of this dumb machine. Any way I lost it, I tried to blame somebody, anybody for the loss but I end up on the short list. No sense crying over spilt milk. That phrase conjures up a barn floor with straw and manure all over and a pail of freshly squeezed milk running away. (does that still translate, freshly squeezed OJ and milk?)I still don't know how to copy and paste and I really hate to rewrite anything. It never comes out as succinct or witty the 2nd time around.  When I first began forgetting things, I bitched to my Dr. and he had me tested, no Alzheimer's. So I'll just live with it. 

Last month my name came to the Jury commissioner, Call this number on this day, well this was several weeks in advance so I marked the calendar, and clipped the notice to the board. On the designated day I called, a recording said call back next Monday, Well I didn't write that down and Monday came and Tuesday came and Wednesday, Thursday and Friday! On Saturday a light bulb went off while I sat whittling in the dog park. OH! SHIT! I blew it again! So when I got home I called the machine and the recording told me My number was to report to the courthouse the following Monday!!!! They hadn't missed me at all! Now I must go and sit all day while they try to impanel a jury. At my age I can be excused, but sometimes it can be entertaining. So I'll go and sit for one day and see.

----30----

Jenny the wonder waterdog

Jenny our Springer was constantly in motion

She was always the first into the pool every spring, and always had a ball in her mouth. Once when she had exhausted everyone and we had taken all her tennis balls away, She had also used all the leaves available. She brought our Son in law Marc a dead stiff lizard. The other dog pictured is Graycha, a pretty brindle pit bull that belongs to Maki our Japanese Daughter.

Bo loves the ladies

 Jeanette above and Mimi below
Kim above and Michiko below

Sorry about the lack of words, but a picture is worth a 1,000 words *Grin*

More Bo, Beau or Bow

Our first view of Bo was at the animal shelter, He was a beautiful warm tan color that matched our new carpet. Bo wasn't an over exuberant demonstrative dog, he acknowleged me by a short wave of his tail and a saunter to the front of his cage. He was his own dog. The story the people at the shelter told us was that he had belonged to a transient that was incarcerated for a number of years, and Bo needed a home, so we obliged. Bo was housebroken about a year old and a cross between a Greyhound and an Airdale. He extraordinarily indebendent and it took several years to respond to the command "come" or to accept me as the pack leader. If hewas let loose, from his lead and given any freedom he was GONE! Most often to an orphanage, grade school or the beach. He had tags on so we would eventually get a phone call, from some mother saying they had Bo and for me to take my time as her children were enjoying bo. He helped several neighbor children learn to walk, just letting them grab a tail as he walked slowly away.. After we had Bo for several years we got Jenny a very affectionate Springer Spaniel This had a calming effect on Bo and it was a match made in Heaven! But back to Bo, Both dogs had a love of the beach, I don't know if it was the sand, seagulls, youg people playing or dead stuff to roll on the beach. Jenny always had her tennis ball and we brought a frisbee for Bo. Idf he missed a throw (it was useually the pitchers fault) and it landed on it's top, he would step on the edge and lift the opposite side up so he could grab it. If it landed right side up he would have to push it 'til it hit a rock to get a purchase.  If the wind took a long throw into the surf, Bo would run frantically back and forth hopeing some one would lend him a hand. if all else failed he would wade into the sea. If it was deeper. he would stand on his hind feet and hop to the disk. Jenny on the other hand was a great water dog, swimming as far as needed to fetch her ball.

(To be continued) 

____30____

Bo Beau or Bow

Affection from Beau.

May I play with your kitty?

Bo and Elspeth under Bougainvillea.

Elspeth and Bo at Frisbee competition.

My Velocipede experience Or I hate missionaries

At one time I was really anti missionary. Anyone that feels that their way is the only way, has always annoyed me. We are all prejudiced in some way, but most can refrain from pushing your opinion down your neighbors throat. I was that way until I met my first 10 speed. I can't remember what make it was, but it was white and front and rear derailers, light weight clincher tires, and drop handle bars!  From here I went a little bonkers. I wanted lighter and faster. I rode with a bunch of novice bikers, that also were super enthusiasts. I rode every weekend, longer and more challengeing rides.  Then I built my own mongrel bicycle.

It had a peugeot double butted steel frame, a Brit cotterless crank, Shimano derailers, track handlebars, The leather seat from my old Japanese bike (it fit my tush) pedals that could hold my tennies and were lightweight. I painted the bike school bus yellow and had a chameois shorts and shirt with pockets in yellow made to fit me. "God I was cool" By this time I was completely immersed in Bicycling. I made safety movies for law inforcment, took grade school kids on bike rides. organized an overnight bike ride for Jr. high kids to Ojai. a bike ride to Mexico, and a ride from San Francisco to Santa Barbara. I took blind kids for rides on tandems. Jumped off the pier into the Pacific, taught bicycle repair at the "Y" I was what I had always detested a missionary for two wheels! 

---30---

Metamorphisis of Me

A very long time ago I came into this world naked. Then I wore a loin cloth. after that I wore Levis, then pants, trousers and shorts with a belt. Ten one day in the 70's I found my shorts fell every time I served a tennis ball. (this was OK as long as I served an Ace, But unfortunately that didn't happen too often). So I stumbled on suspenders, and my game improved dramatically. Then one day while playing golf my follow through dragged my wrists across my metal suspender grips, and I bled so bad I had to give up golf. I also had a problem with sitting at the dining table. The grips in the back scratched the hell out of the chair, and every time after 9/11 going through airport security I set off alarms, then I would have to put the suspenders in the box with my keys and change. Then we went back to the old story where my pants fell off! Right in front of a plump lady in an official uniform of "Homeland security" She saw no humor in my situation. This made me snicker. 

Now I have finally turned into a butterfly, with my delightful all in one coveralls. I have them in "Royal blue", "Forest green" and "Navy blue" I almost got a pair of "prisoner orange" then I thought of the lady from homeland security and decided against it. The zipper on these suits zip from the bottom or the top. Not quite far enough, so if you see a man in a bright blue suit hunched over in front of the urinal take pity, and don't laugh. There is one last thing if for some reason I have to remove them to facilitate some waste elimination, don't snicker if I have a wet sleeve. I is very hard to pull them off and watch where the sleeves go.

---30---